Bxchanged 




RUMOR 



Price, 30 Cents 




WALTER H. BAKER COMPANY 

BOSTON 



Oh, Kay! 



By Adam Applebud 

A Farce Gjmedy in Three Acts interlarded with mystery and 
thrills. 6m.. 5w. TTiree of the male characters have little to do. 
One easy interior. Plays a full evening. Here is another corking 
play by the author of BE AN OPTIMIST which will make as big 
a hit as that has. It will be fun to watch it, fun to act it and fun 
to rehearse it. It's a sort of mystery play with something doing 
every minute in the way of thrills, surprises and laughs. There 
are not any dead bodies falling out of closets and there are no gorillas, 
bats, spiders or other repulsive things running around but there s 
plenty of excitement and strange things happen before your eyes. 
IJGramp" with his flivver and- its never ending accessories and 
"Gram" with her habit of trying every patent medicine on the 
market are a couple of comedy roles which will furnish a couple 
of hundred laughs. Kay Millis, the girl detective, is a strong part 
calling for good acting while Art and Edith are juvenile parts of 
much appeal. TTien there are other good parts and as the plot 
moves all are enmeshed in the "tangled threads of mystery." Oh, 
yes, we must mention the Black Terror himself, who is the cause of 
an the trouble. Can it be . . .? Do you suppose . . .? He 
»s . . .? But the secret must be kept. If you have pleased 
audiences before you will certainly retain their good will by ofiFering 
them OH, KAY! 

THE PLAYERS 

Eldith Whitman. 

Evelyn Whitman, her mother. 

Arthur Whitman, her brother. 

Captain George Whitman, her father. 

"Gram." Pembroke. 

Alice Borden. 

The "Blcick Terror." 

"Gramp" Pembroke. 

Jim Hayes. 

Kay Millis, of the Millis Detective Agency. 

Fr»d Alden. 
The entire action of the play takes place in the Hving-room of 
the Whitmans in the course of one evening. 
A few minutes elapse between Acts I and II. 
Acts II and III are continuous. 

ROYALTY ONLY TEN DOLLARS 

Each Amateur Performance 

Books Thirty-Five Cents Each 



WALTER H. BAKER COMPANY 

41 Winter Street, Boston, Mass. 



RUMOR 

A Play in One Act 



By 
RUTH CRUM KNUDTEN 



PRODUCTION LICENSE 

Amateur groups may use this play without paying a 
royalty fee, provided they have purchased at least eight 
copies of this printed pamphlet. All other rights includ- 
ing radio broadcasting, are reserved by Walter H. 
Baker Company, Boston, Mass. 




BOSTON 

WALTER H. BAKER COMPANY 

PUBLISHERS 



RUMOR Cot^N^a 



THE CAST 

" Billy " Gregg. Celeste Meade. 

" Dave " Overton. Miss Weatherby. 

Agatha Pennington. Mrs. Richards. 

Mrs. Meade. Miss Davis. 

Thomas Meade. Mr. Green. 

Ella Sparks. Mrs. Green. 

Scene. — A front porch. 

Time of Playing. — Approximately forty minutes. 



Copyright, 1929, by Walter H. Baker Company 
Made in U. S. A. 



©ClDpub.85292 

/ " 

nftR 22 1929 

TMP96-0065C3 



RUMOR 



SCENE. — Fro7it porch of the Meade home. Crex rug 
on the floor. Reed settee, chair, small table, rocker. 
Larger table on zvhich are several things for a sale; 
some flowers. 

(Agatha Pennington, knozvn as Aggie, a partially 
deaf spinster of forty-nine years, is seated at the 
small table d. l., fingering in a note-book. She casu- 
ally casts an occasional interested glance at Billy 
and Dave, seated on the settee u. c. She is well- 
dressed, over-jewelled, and tries to act and look 
young; her hair is done in a fussy style; she has a 
soft, musical voice. Billy is a vivacious girl of 
tzventy-tzvo. She has light hair, done in the latest 
fashion. She looks neat and attractive in a simple 
two-piece sports dress. A small parcel is lying on 
her lap. In spite of her seemingly happy mood she 
has an underlying sad look. Dave is a tall, well- 
dressed young man of twenty-three, of likeable na- 
ture, quite shy. He has his arm thrown over the 
back of the seat, his hand dangling down behind 
zvhile he beats a tattoo. Thomas Meade, a well- 
built man of forty-eight, medium height, rather care- 
lessly, but well-dressed, comes to the door on l. from 
within. Before he is seen he is heard to call to 
someone in another part of the house.) 

Thomas, Send for me, Clara, if you v^^ant me. {He 
begins to whistle " Kiss Me Again " and entering, stops 
abruptly as he sees Aggie.) 

Aggie. {Happily, extending her hand) Why, Thomas 
Meade ! A pleasure this is, to be shore. 

Thomas. {Shaking her hand) Good-afternoon, Miss 
Agatha ! Does Clara know you are here ? 

3 



4 RUMOR 

Aggie. {Hand to her ear) Pardon? {Proudly.) 
It's treasurer I am {sighing) and a responsible position 
it is, Mr. Thomas. 

Thomas. I see. Well, I hope your sale will be profit- 
able. {He tosses up his hand and nods, and as he turns 
he notices Billy and Dave and goes to them. Aggie 
goes out l.) 

Daxts. Hello, Mr. Meade. 

Thomas. Why, hello, Dave. You here? 

Dave. Yes, I'm here again — wearing out my welcome. 

Thomas. Not at all ! Billy's friends are welcome any 
time. 

Dave, Thanks ! 

Thomas. {To Billy) You're not looking for a job 
this afternoon, are you ? 

Billy. {Laughing) It depends on what it is. 

Dave. She has one it seems — at least she has refused 
to go out with me. 

Billy. Dave, you know I'm wild to go, but duty be- 
fore pleasure to-day. 

Thomas. {Laughing) It must be important if she 
turns you down. {To Billy.) The sale? 

Billy. Oh, no ! I'm not a member of this club. 
What's the job 3^ou mentioned? 

Thomas. Clara asked me to take some clothes to the 
cleaner and 

Billy. Sure thing! I'll do that — I'm going that way 
to Mary Daniels soon. 

Thomas. Good ! You'll find them in the back hall. 
(Aggie, reentering, seats herself at the small table and 
begins to write in her note-hook.) Well, I'm off. So 
long. {He tosses up his hand and goes away leisurely, 
whistling "Kiss Me Again.") 

Billy. ) o i » 

Dave. \ Oolong! 

Billy. What Is that song he's whistling? {Hums a 
hit of it. ) I know it as well as anything. 

Dave. So do I. Funny how such things slip the 
mind, isn't it? 



RUMOR 5 

Billy. But they're like the bad penny — usually turn 
up again. 

Dave. Say, if Dad wasn't using the car I'd drive you 
down-town. 

Billy. Hard luck ! But they won't be heavy. 

Dave. He may get back in time. (Dave half rises as 
if to go, but settles down again as Billy speaks.) 

Billy. {Picking up the package) Dave, you're a 
good old scout to bring this package. 

Dave. Oh, that's all right. It wasn't any trouble. 
What have you been buying? 

Billy. I bet you can't guess. 

Dave. Oh, I suppose some finery. 

Billy. You know it; it couldn't be finer. See! {She 
displays the contents, a baby's cap, jacket, and bootees. 
Aggie unobserved by Billy and Dave shows her amaze- 
ment and interest; then hastily busies herself zuith her 
book and pencil.) 

Dave. {Surprised) What? Baby duds? You start- 
ing an orphanage? 

Billy. {Laughing) Not quite. Mary Daniels has 
been terribly sick recently, and she's worried about the 
baby. 

Dave. That poor woman you've been helping, you 
mean? 

Billy. Yes, her husband died just before the baby 
was born. Poor woman ! She's having such a hard 
time. 

Dave. You bought these things for her. 

Billy. {Nodding) I thought the best way to forget 
one's own troubles was to think of someone else's. 

Dave. What? 

Billy. {Her face clouding) I don't suppose you re- 
member that it is just a year to-morrow since {Her 

voice breaks and she bites her lips.) 

Dave. {Thinking) To-morrow? The 29th? {Pat- 
ting Billy's hand.) You poor girl! 

(Aggie sees and shows her interest.) 
Billy. {Forcing back the tears) Death is terrible, 



6 RUMOR 

Dave — to those who are left behind. Uncle Tom and 
Aunt Clara are wonderful to me, but — it's so lonesome 
at times. 

Dave. Your father and mother both were such needed 
people, too. It was a terrible accident. 

Billy. (Forcing a smile) But there, I'll be weeping 
for you if I'm not careful. 

Dave. Billy, you've been a brick. I'm proud that 
you're my friend. {Looking down the street.) There's 
Ella Sparks — coming early to get all the news, I suppose. 
(He rises.) Guess it's time for me to move on. 

Billy. I wonder whose " ears will burn " to-day ? 

Dave. I've always heard it said, " Out of sight, out 
of mind" — so let's hope ours won't. (Taking Billy's 
hand affectionately for a second.) Well, buck up, 
girl ! Remember Tm with you ! 

Billy. Thanks, Dave ! Good-bye. (Dave ^oc?^ away 
R. and Billy humming is about to enter the door l. when 
she turns about quickly and calls after him.) Oh, Dave ! 
" Kiss Me Again." (She smiles and waves her package 
and then goes indoors.) 

(Aggie looks up as she hears this and wonders what 
she has missed. She sees Ella Sparks, a woman of 
fifty-five, of medium height and weight. Ella 
wears a stylish but somewhat old-fashioned and un- 
becoming hat and dress. Her spectacles hang from 
her neck on a black ribbon. She uses these fre- 
quently for her sight is not the best even though her 
ears are sharp. She has seen Dave and heard 
Billy. ) 

Ella. (Very excited and angry) Oh! How shock- 
ing! (She hurries to Aggie.) Did you ever hear of 
such boldness! 

Aggie. (H er hand to ear) Pardon! 

Ella. (Angrily) I say, what were those two doing? 

Aggie. (Hand to ear) What am I doing, is it? Ella 
Sparks ! and who is there to manage this sale unless I 
be it? 



RUMOR 7 

Ella. (Excited) Sister Meade ought to know about 
this. (Louder to Aggie.) I say, where is Sister Meade? 

Aggie. It's Sister Meade that you are wanting ! Just 
sit yourself down while I go after her. (Aggie goes 
into the house.) 

(Ella examines the things on the table and paces the 
floor at times, until Aggie, followed by Mrs. Meade, 
returns. Mrs. Meade extends her hand cordially to 
Ella, but the latter ignores it.) 

Mrs. Meade. Good-afternoon, Mrs. Sparks ! — Why, 
■ — what ? 

Ella. (Sharply) Pardon me, Sister Meade, I'm go- 
ing to speak plain. — (Mrs. Meade nods in surprise.) I 
think you ought to keep your eyes and ears open to the 
doings about your house, that's what I do. 

Mrs. Meade. (Icily polite) Just what do you mean, 
Mrs. Sparks? I think I know pretty well the affairs of 
our family. 

Ella. You do ? — Well ! I'm shocked that you and 
Brother Meade allow such talk as I heard going on be- 
tween your Billy Gregg and Sadie Overton's boy on this 
porch when I came up. 

Mrs. Meade. Aggie, do you hear? (She steps close 
to Aggie and speaks louder. ) Aggie ! Did you see Billy 
doing anything out of the way on our porch? 

Aggie. (Rising, says play f idly) See anything on 
your porch, is it ? Och ! only a little luv-making — holding 
hands and the like. [Aggie exits l. 

(Mrs. Meade looks surprised but Ella does not give 
her a chance to speak.) 

Ella. There ! I knew it ! Hugging and kissing— in 
broad daylight, too. How brazen ! 

Mrs. Meade. Why, that's so unlike Billy. It must 
be a mistake, 

Ella. (Sharply) Well! I heard her with my own 
ears call to him and coax him to come back and kiss her 
just once more. A mistake? 



RUMOR 



(Aggie returns just as Miss Weatherby and Mrs. 
Richards arrive. They give their things for the 
sale to Aggie and she arranges them on the table and 
then sits down to write in her book.) 

Mrs. Meade. (Cordially — ignoring Ella's words) 
Why, Mrs. Richards, Miss Weatherby! I'm glad you 
came. 

Miss Weatherby. Oh, I'm so thrilled over this sale ! 
I only hope we make enough to furnish the hospital. 

Mrs. Richards. (Sighing) Our benefits always are 
a success. 

Mrs. Meade. (Enthusiastically) I'm sure we'll have 
a splendid write-up in the Daily to-morrow. 

Ella. Dear, dear ! — I wish I hadn't come. 

Miss Weatherby. Why, Mrs. Sparks, how can you 
say that? Think of all the poor cats and dogs we are 
benefiting by our small efforts this afternoon. 

Ella. My afternoon's all spoiled for me, now. (She 
looks at Mrs. Meade angrily while Miss Weatherby 
and Mrs. Richards look from one to another inquir- 
ingly. ) 

Miss Weatherby. (Interestedly) Why, what's the 
matter ? 

(Celeste Meade, a rather unattractive, sophisticated, 
twenty-one-year-old girl enters listlessly on r.) 

Celeste. (Casually to Mrs. Meade) Mother 



Mrs. Meade. (Excitedly) Oh, Celeste, dear! Will 
you run up to Billy's room and ask her to come down a 
moment, please? 

Celeste. (Listlessly) I guess I can. 

[Celeste exits l. closely followed by Mrs. Meade. 

Mrs. Richards. (Excitedly) Mrs. Sparks, you're 
not sick, are you? Someone get the camphor. 

Ella. No, I'm not sick — I'm furious — I just caught 
Billy Gregg and that young Overton lolling all over each 
other when I came. — But it's enough to make any good 
woman sick to see the way a lot of young folks carry 



RUMOR 9 

on these days. I declare I don't know what this world 
is coming to. 

(Mrs. Meade reenters with a bouquet of flowers for 
the table.) 

Mrs. Richards. That's just what I told the mister 
this morning. Why, one of our neighbor's boys just last 
week stole their car and ran off with a girl. Nobody 
knows where they are now. 

Miss Weatherby. (Hostilely) Oh, I don't think 
young folks are any worse to-day than they were 

(Celeste reenters.) 

Celeste. Billy is not in her room and her hat's gone 
— she must have gone out. {She goes to steps and looks 
up and down street. ) 

(Miss Davis arrives unnoticed by all excepting Celeste.) 

Mrs. Meade. She didn't say anything — and Billy usu- 
ally tells someone when she goes out. {Noticing Miss 
Davis.) Good-afternoon, Miss Davis. 

Miss Davis. {Pleasantly) Good-afternoon, Mrs. 
Meade. Were you speaking about your Billy? 

Mrs. Meade. {Nods) Yes, Billy Gregg. 

Miss Davis. Wasn't she planning a trip? 

Mrs. Meade. {Trying to be casual) Oh, no! 
( A larm ed. ) Why ? 

Miss Davis. I thought perhaps she was. I just met 
her carrying a suitcase and a small bundle. 

Ella. What's that? A suitcase? Baggage? 

Miss Davis. She got into Dave Overton's car just 
around the corner down there. 

{All become excited. Ella looks horrified.) 

Mrs. Meade. You're sure it was Billy? 
Miss Davis. If not she, it was her ghost. 
Mrs. Richards. Oh dear! I hope they're not run- 
ning away like our neighbors' 

(Celeste listens without a word.) 



10 RUMOR 

Mrs. Meade. I'm puzzled (Mrs. Meade goes 

indoors. Celeste goes off- the porch. Aggie writes in 
her book.) 

Mrs. Richards. It's too bad for the Aleades. It 
seems her father and Air. Meade were close friends. 

Ella. What more could you expect from an only 
child? Pampered as, they say, she was. I heard her 
folks were well off. 

(Mrs. Bates arrives outside, panting. She is not seen, 
but heard. Mrs. Richards meets her at the door.) 

Mrs. Bates. {Off stage) Oh, I'm so out of breath. 
No, I'll not come in. 

Mrs. Richards. I must tell you the news, Mrs. 
Bates. Billy Gregg and Dave Overton have eloped. 

(Ella goes to the door.) 

Mrs. Bates. {Off stage and excited) Do tell. Why, 
I saw Billy Gregg in at Marshall's just yesterday. She 
was buying baby clothes. 

Mrs. Richards. ) What? Baby clothes? Well, of all 

Ella. ) things ! 

Mrs. Bates. Say, you don't suppose 

Ella. I shouldn't be surprised. Half the young peo- 
ple to-day can't be trusted. I tell you what with auto- 
mobiles, late hours, movies, dances and the like it's no 
wonder. We didn't carry on that way when I was young. 

Mrs. Bates. {Excitedly) Here, take this package, 
I'll hurry back to tell the women of our neighborhood, 
they'll all want to know. 

Miss Davis. {To Miss Weatherby) Let's go too. 

(Miss Weatherby and Miss Davis go out r. Mrs. 
Meade returns. Ella and Mrs. Richards go to 
Aggie with the package. All gather around to see.) 

Mrs. Richards. Eliza Bates just brought this. 

Ella. She said she saw Billy Gregg buying baby 
clothes yesterday, and at the time she thought it looked 
suspicious. {Excitement.) 



HUMOR 11 

Aggie. It's baby clothes, Is it ? Did you see them too ? 
I wonder what it is that Billy and Dave are going to do 
with them? {Sentimentally.) Little knitted things! 
Och! 

Mrs. Meade. Why, Aggie, did you see them? 

Aggie, (Delighted) See them? — to be shore. 

(Ella is shocked. All stand around Aggie as she 
stands looking at the settee. After a moment she 
puts Mrs. Bates' donation on the table and exits 
soberly. Mrs. Meade paces the floor sedately.) 

Mrs. Meade. {To herself) Why didn't I go to her 
when she was crying yesterday ! 

{All have heard and look shocked. Ella purses her 
lips and shakes her head as if she is convinced about 
something.) 

Ella. Crying, eh ! That's all / need to know. 
Mrs. Meade. {Pacing sedately) Billy, Billy, what 
have you done to us? 

(Mr. and Mrs. Green enter. Mr. Green, a nervous 
man of fifty-eight, with a high-pitched voice, is su- 
perintendent of the Cat and Dog Hospital. Mrs. 
Green, same age, is stout, short of breath and very 
talkative. Celeste follows listlessly.) 

Mrs. Green. How do you do, ladies ! 

All. How do you do, Mrs. Green! Mr. Green! 

Mrs. Green. Well, what are the proceeds so far? 
(All look from one to another and say nothing. Then 
they all look at Mrs. Meade.) Mrs. Meade looks like a 
ghost. What has happened? 

Ella. I suppose it's up to me to tell it I It will come 
out sooner or later so I may as well. {She draws closer 
to Mrs. Green.) Billy Gregg is in trouble and has run 
away. [Celeste goes out into the yard. 

Mrs. Green. {To her husband) Disgraced and ran 
away. {Shaking her head.) T-t-t-t ! There you have 



12 RUMOR 

it. How unfortunate that it had to happen to-day — is it 
affecting the sale? What are the proceeds? 

Mrs. Meade. There must be some mistake about this. 

Mrs. Green. I hope so. It's such a disgrace. I've 
always said to my friends, " You can have your children 
if you want them, but give me a cat or a dog any day. 
They're not half the trouble and they'll not disgrace you 
some day after you have sacrificed yourself for them." 

Ella. Mrs. Green, you have a wonderful mind. 

Mrs. Green. That's what everyone tells me. 

Mr. Green. {In high-pitched voice, very nervously) 
There aren't many women who are so devoted to animals 
as Mrs. Green is. 

Mrs. Meade. I believe it, Mr. Green. 

Mr. Green. The sunporch at the hospital is her own 
idea ; it is a very great service that you kind ladies of the 
Good Samaritan club are doing to-day. 

Mrs. Green. But it would seem {She looks in- 
quiringly about.) There are no proceeds yet? {To her 
husband. ) Jay, let us run down to the Murphys and tell 
them the news. 

Mr. Green. All right. 

Mrs. Green. We shall be back. 

[Mr. and Mrs. Green go out r. 

(Miss Davis and Miss Weatherby, excited, return; 
Celeste follows leisurely.) 

Miss Davis. Celeste just told us. My, I'm so sur- 
prised. Billy always seemed so nice. 

Ella. {Sharply) One never can tell! As for me 
I've always wondered how it was that she had so much 
company when ■ 

Miss Weatherby. She is so jolly and full of life — 
I like her myself. 

Ella. {Sharply) Nice girls like Celeste here and my 
Doris don't have so much company, I've noticed. 

(Aggie goes to the group.) 

Aggie. {Anxiously) What can the matter be? So 
excited you are! 



RUMOR 13 

Ella. (Sharply) Sister Pennington, only your hear- 
ing can keep you from being excited when such a calam- 
ity has befallen us. 

Aggie. (Excitedly) Someone has fallen? Och me! 
( Wringing her hands.) At the new building, to be shore. 
Who might it be? 

Mrs. Richards. (Hastening) Why, haven't you 
heard the news ? Billy Gregg is in trouble 

Aggie. Billy Gregg, is it? And to think of them two 
a-sittin' there (looks toward settee) just like two turtle 
doves, they were. Och my ! Is she dead ? 

Ella. (Loudly) It's better she was — she's in trouble 
and is eloping. 

Aggie. (Sinks into a chair) What? Terrible it is, 
to be shore. (She fans herself and rocks.) 

Miss Davis. Over there is Mrs. Dawson. I know 
she'd be interested. Let's tell her. 

[Miss Davis and Miss Weatherby go out r. 

(Thomas hurries in breathless. Mrs. Meade goes to 
him. ) 

Mrs. Meade. Oh, Tom. 

Thomas. Clara, what's all this talk about Billy and 
Dave that's running around town? Everybody's talking. 

Mrs. Meade. I know, our reputation will be ruined. 
Billy left with a suitcase by the back door, and Miss 
Davis saw her drive off with Dave. Before that she and 
Dave were spooning on the porch here. Yesterday Ce- 
leste saw her crying and Eliza Bates caught her in at 
Marshall's buying baby clothes and 

Thomas. (Smiling, whistles) Did she steal the silver 
before she left? 

Ella. We venture to say she has disgraced you and 
eloped. 

Thomas. Bosh ! I'll wait a while before I believe 
that. Billy's as fine a girl as ever I knew, and I'd trust 
her any place. Better go easy unless you have the facts. 
It's a serious matter to malign a person's character. 

Ella. Well, I'll tell you I'm not used to hearing such 



14 RUMOR 

talk from my young folks as I heard from her to-day. 

I wouldn't trust her out of my sight. 

Thomas. Clara, you don't believe all this bunk about 

Billy, do you? 

Mrs, Meade. I hope it isn't true, but really it's 

Thomas. Tommyrot! {He exits l. and for some 

time after is heard whistling indistinctly.) 

(Mrs. Meade sinks into the rocker and folds her hands 
in her lap. Miss Davis and Miss Weatherby re- 
turn.) 

Miss Davis. Mrs. Dawson had already heard about 
it. She is so surprised and sorry. She asked if we were 
helping her — Good Samaritan-like, you know. 

Mrs. Richards. Why, I hadn't thought of that. It's 
just the kind of opportunity we have been waiting for 
for years. Now to think it had to come just when we 
have these poor cats and dogs on our hands. What shall 
we do? 

Miss Davis. Let's postpone the sunporch — we can do 
that any time — and for once {happily excited) let's do 
something for a fallen friend. This opportunity truly is 
a Godsend. 

Miss Weatherby. {Runs to Miss Davis and to- 
gether they skip about jubilantly) Let's do, let's do! 
Why, we could get a crib and blankets and toys, and 
there still Avould be lots of other things, even if she does 
have the layette. 

Aggie. Those are my thinks. It's God-mother that 
I could be, and a good one I'd be, to be sure. Why, al- 
ways it was children to care for that I wanted. Och me ! 

Mrs. Meade. But, ladies, how could we explain our 
change of plans to Mr. and Mrs. Green? Besides 

Ella. {Sharply) We won't. I for one will oppose 
it. I don't mind doing something for a helpless child, 
but when our money and time and energy go to help 
any girl out of such a predicament, why — I say let her 
bear her own shame. If she was my girl, I'd wash my 
hands of her forever. Think of the disgrace. I wouldn't 
have any pride left if I meddled in such affairs. 



RUMOR 15 

(Thomas enters with a note and lays it on the table.) 

Thomas. Johnny Clark just brought this note for 
Billy. He said Mary Daniels just died. [Thomas exits. 

Mrs. Richards. Mary Daniels? Why, I didn't know- 
she was sick. 

Ella. I did. She's been real bad lately I heard. 
Strange such poor folks live as long as they do. 

Miss Weathergy. I wonder what will happen to her 
children now — the younger one isn't very old, I believe. 

Ella. (Sharply) Oh, there are plenty of institutions 
I suppose where they can be cared for — and a sight bet- 
ter training they'll have, no doubt. Who knows it may 
be a blessing that she died. 

Miss Davis. (Shocked) Mrs. Sparks! They may 
get the training all right, but not a mother's love and 
every child needs that. 

(Mr. and Mrs. Green return.) 

Mrs. Green. Dear! Dear! Has no one else come 
to the sale? It's too bad, I declare. I'm afraid the pro- 
ceeds We met several people coming but w^hen we 

told them the news they walked along back with us to 
hear all about it, so excited they all were. 

Mrs. Richards. In your absence, Mrs. Green, the 
majority of us here to-day have decided that in view of 
the present opportunity, we wish to postpone the sun- 
porch for some time, and to devote our efforts just now 
to a genuine Good Samaritan act and take care of 

(Mrs. Green, horrified, shrieks.) 

Mr. Green. Oh, Evangeline! Come sit down. (He 
drags her to a chair and pushes her in; then stands by 
and fans her.) A delicate woman like Mrs. Green can- 
not stand such a shock. She will be all right soon, I 
think. 

(Mrs. Green fumbles in her hand-bag and drawing 
out her smelling salts, uses it and soon revives.) 

Mrs. Green. (Angered, rises) Did I understand 



16 RUMOR 

you? You won't furnish the sunporch? You must. I 
bought the things just this morning. {Sinks into her 
chair again.) 

Ella. {To the others) Of course. We have our 
good name to uphold at least. Then, too, as I said, I'm 
not in favor 

Mrs. Green. That gratifies me, Mrs. Sparks. I 
thought you v^^ere a far-seeing woman. 

{There is considerable commotion, for Billy and Dave 
have just been noticed by Miss Weatherby and 
Miss Davis, piling some things into the car in front 
of the house.) 

Miss Weatherby. Why, Billy and Dave are out there 
now. {All gather near to look.) 
Ella. They're moving her things. 

(Thomas calmly enters l., whistling. He has a smile 
on his face, and going to the gate calls.) 

Thomas. Hey, Billy ! Come here ! 

(Billy, looking sad, with hair and hat pushed back 
enters running. Over one arm hangs a shawl.) 

Billy. What is it, Uncle Tom, I'm — I'd rather not 
come in just now. 

(Mrs. Meade hurries toward her and calls out in a 
strange voice.) 

Mrs. Meade. Oh, Billy! Why 

(Billy pats Mrs. Meade's artn.) 

Thomas. Here's the note. 

Billy. {Taking it eagerly) Oh, thanks. {She reads 
it.) 

(Ella and Mrs. Richards move c. l.) 

Mrs. Richards. It is time for us to decide just how 
we are going to help her if we wish to tell her while 
she's here. 



RUMOR 17 

Ella, {To Mrs. Richards) We can't be sentimental 
and easy when it comes to dealing with such cases, — 
besides we have our good name. 

Mrs. Green. Yes, and mine too ! 

(Thomas looks about interestedly. Billy finishes her 
note and gives it to Thomas, who reads it, too. 
Billy stands with eyes on the floor.) 

Mrs. Richards. (Going to Billy and patting Jier 
arm) It's a terrible thing, Billy, but there, don't worry. 
We'll help you some way. 

(Miss Weatherby and Miss Davis nod approval. 
Ella looks angrily at Billy; Miss Davis and Miss 
Weatherby sympathetically. Aggie seems to have 
pleasant thoughts on her mind. Mrs. Green is 
angry and Mr. Green hovers about her. Mrs. 
Meade and Celeste stand looking at Billy.) 

Billy. Oh, thank you ! I hadn't expected such kind- 
ness. It is terrible. {Sighs and shakes her head as she 
gazes blankly into space.) It's the baby that worries me. 
If only it hadn't happened. 

Ella. Did you ever hear of such boldness ! No shame 
at all these days ! 

Billy. I must hurry now. Dave is waiting. ( Billy 
exits L. ; as she passes, Aggie speaks. ) 

Aggie. Poor lass. 

Ella. If you women insist on changing our plans I 
shall withdraw my name from the Club, 

Miss Weatherby. No, no, Mrs, Sparks ! We would 
not think of forcing you to do that, but because the ma- 
jority of us present feel the same way about the matter 
of postponement, we think the others will agree. We 
hope you will see fit to do the same. 

Ella. Never for that! If it was some honorable 
thing, why 

Mrs. Richards. Mrs. Sparks, I don't see how you can 
be so obstinate, but since you are, I suppose you expect 
the rest of us to give in. Maybe you'll agree to change 



18 RUMOR ^__^_ 

our name then. I won't stay in a Club called " Good 
Samaritan " and turn up my nose to dut}'. 

Miss Weatherby. } -r 

Miss Davis. \ ^ '^^^^^■ 

(Thomas, calling and zuhistling to Dave, motions him 
to come.) 

Thomas. Dave, oh, Dave ! 

( Billy enters with shazvl and blanket. She stands ' 
amazed and listens.) 

Mrs. Green. {Frantically) That's it, change your 
club's name. I'll be ruined if you don't. Oh dear, and 
the furniture coming this evening. You women can't go 
back on your word. (Dave enters. To Billy.) Don't 
let them. 

Ella. Mrs. Green, we can't change our name. 

Mrs. Richards. {To Ella) Well, then, it's one 
thing or the other. Choose for yourself. 

Billy. What's all this about? 

Thomas. Billy, these women tell me that you and 
Dave were necking here on the porch. ( Billy gasps and 
looks at Dave, ivho is embarrassed.) I hear that you 
have a baby's layette for your own use, and everybody is 
talking about it. 

Dave. {Angrily) Who said that? {As no one an- 
swers, he speaks louder, stamping his foot.) I say, who 
said that? 

Billy. {SJiocked) Well, of all things, why pick on 
me? 

Ella. Never in my born days did I see such bold- 
ness ! Thinks, I suppose, that no one saw the clothes and 
the suitcase. 

Billy. Suitcase? Now where does the suitcase come 
in, I wonder. 

Dave. I suppose they have it that we're eloping. 

Ella. There now — a guilty conscience I dare say ! 

Mrs. Richards. You did have a suitcase, did you not? 

Dave. {Still angry) Yes, and it isn't empty either. 



RUMOR 19 

I suppose you will want to see inside, so I'll just get 
it. 

Billy. (Anxiously) Oh, Dave, wh 

(Dave disappears with a hound, Billy starts after 
him but returns.) 

Ella. (Pursing her lips and shaking her head) 
There now. 

(Dave dashes up zvitJi a suitcase, and Billy rushes 
toward him.) 

Billy. Oh, Dave, let's go, they are waiting for us. 

(Dave, unheeding, opens the suitcase, displaying the 
contents. Mrs. Meade's dresses and Thomas's suit 
for the cleaner. The women exclaim.) 

Ella. {Triumphantly to Thomas) There, now are 
you satisfied? Their clothes ! If that isn't proof enough ! 

(Thomas removes Dave's coat and slips on the coat 
in the suitcase, and holds up the trousers to him; 
Billy holds up one of Mrs. Meade's dresses. Suit 
and dress do not fit either. The zuomen look cha- 
grined. Mrs. Meade gasps, and looks at Thomas 
who is amused.) 

Thomas. (Laughing) Where did you two buy your 
wedding duds? 

(Aggie, Dave and Billy join Thomas in laughing 
heartily. The others look about embarrassed.) 

Mrs. Meade. Tom, did you do this ? 

Ella. (Hotly) Well, it's a smart trick, I do say, but 
the layette wall not be disposed of so easily. 

Billy. (Angrily) Layette? Who said I had a lay- 
ette? Say! (Calming herself.) I'd be peeved if this 
w^ere not so absurd. Who started this talk anyway ? 

All. I didn't. 

Dave, (Remembering) Your package, Billy. 



20 RUMOR 

Billy. {Surprised) I'd forgotten about that, — the 

things for little Jackie Daniels. {Angrily.) If you 

{Sighing.) No, I won't quarrel about those to-day, I 
just came away from Death. I wish you could have seen 
how cute Jackie looked in the first little jacket he ever 
had. Poor little fellow, there never was a layette, but 
he needs one, that's sure. Those poor kiddies ! 

(Thomas stands looking at Ella, who is conscience- 
stricken and speechless.) 

Mrs, Richards. Aggie, did you hear? The baby 
clothes were for the Daniels' baby. 

Aggie. {Disappointed) For the Daniels' baby? Och ! 
To think it's a God-mother I can't be ; so set upon it I 
was^ to be shore. A baby to care for, at my house, was 
what I wanted. {She slips into a chair and buries her 
head on the table disappointed. Billy rushes to her.) 

Billy. Aggie, do you mean that? {Shakes her.) 
Tell me, do you mean that you would like to have a baby 
to care for? Would you take two instead of one? 

Aggie. {Lifting her head) Is it out of my head that 
I am? A baby? Two children? Is it that, what you 
said? It's wanting them I've been all my life. 

Billy. You dear. No, you are not out of your mind 
or dreaming either. Little Mary and Jackie Daniels are 
darling. I'd take them myself if I could. I'm so re- 
lieved that they will have a good home. 

Mrs. Richards. Aggie can't do it all. We all want 
to help. {General commotion.) 

Miss Davis. Let's outfit them — a real Samaritan act. 

All. Yes ! Yes ! 

(Mrs. Green has been sitting rigidly in her chair, now 
she sinks hack with a wail. Mr. Green searches for 
her smelling salts.) 

Mrs, Green, Oh, how can I pay the thirty-five dol- 
lars for the furniture to-night ? 

Billy. {Going to Mrs. Green) Mrs, Green, thirty- 



RUMOR 21 

five dollars, is it? I'm so happy about Aggie taking the 
baby and all, — will you let me be responsible for the bill ? 
I've always liked animals. 

Mrs. Green. {Hugging Billy so tightly she gasps for 
breath) WILL I? You dear girl. 

Billy. Aggie, come on along and see your children. 
Dave, let's go. [Aggie, Dave and Billy go out r. happily. 

Thomas. Now, Ella Sparks and the rest of you, be- 
fore I go, there is one thing I want to say. There are 
too many people like you in this world, who are blind 
to the good about them, but who, always, are looking 
about into other's affairs, eager to make mountains out 
of mole-hills. Age always looks at youth with suspicion. 
It was the same in our day. A character can be ruined 
in a day, but it often takes a lifetime to undo the work 
of rumor. What this world needs is not fault-finding and 
slander, but understanding and sympathy. Some people 
don't know the difference between friendliness and 
abandon. Here is an innocent girl, who can claim the 
name of Good Samaritan more than any of you. Listen 
to this: {He opens Billy's note and reads with feeling.) 
Dear Miss Billy : I am writing you this note to tell you 
I am growing weaker. Dr. Gordon says my time is 
short. How can I thank you? You have been so kind 
to me and the children. You have been my one friend in 
need. Without you I would have given up sooner. My 
dear little Mary — and the baby! I am broken-hearted 
to leave them. I can't bear to think of them in a Home, 
but there is no other way. Oh, Miss Billy, won't you 
visit them sometimes and tell them that their father and 
mother loved them and want them to be good children. 
Won't you help them to be like you, Miss Billy? I could 
ask for nothing better for them. Now — I'm very weak — 
I'm afraid, unless you come very soon, I shall not see 
you again. Thank you again for all the food and clothes 
and cheer that you brought to us. Good-bye, Miss Billy. 
God bless you ! Yours forever, Mary Daniels. 

{The women stand about, some with tears in their 
eyes, others looking very thoughtful.) 



22 RUMOR 

Mrs. Richards. Well, of all things ! Strange we 
hadn't heard about it before. 

Miss Weatherby. I am not surprised, though, for 
Miss Billy always seemed so nice. 

Ella. One never can tell ! I'll never forget this day. 

CURTAIN 



Fixing It For Father 

By J. C. McMullen 

A Farce in Three Acts. 6m., 5w. One easy interior. Father 
was a very staid professor of a very staid college. He was re- 
ceiving under his name, letters for his brother-in-law, a high stepper 
who was, unknown to the professor, carrying on a correspondence 
with a matrimonial agency widow. The professor's two daughters 
found the letters emd what they and their two boy "friends" didn't 
do to Father isn't worth telling. One of the boys decides he will 
meet the widow as the Professor and disgust her with professors 
in general. The other boy decides that he, as the widow, will meet 
the Professor and disgust him with widows. They meet — each 
other and the fun commences. There are 1 1 characters of equal 
importance, the dialogue is snappy and the action rapid. There 
isn't a dull moment in two hours. If you are looking for a play for 
an evening of culture, don't bother with this, but if you are looking 
for a farce that starts with a bang, rushes its way through three 
acts and winds up with a wallop, by all means, try it. 

THE CAST 

Prof. John Risdon, of Westport College. 

Elinor and Beatrice, his daughters. 

Dick Cunard, his brother-in-law. 

Emma Blanchard, his sister-in-law. 

William Merton, his boyhood friend. 

Harold, Merton's son. 

Harry Chalmers, in love with Beatrice. 

Jack Denton, in love with Elinor. 

Fanchon La Vonde, the widow. 

Aunt Lize, the autocrat of the Risdon household. 

Act I. Living-room of the Professor's home, at Westport, near 
New York, 6:00 o'clock, Friday evening. 

Act IL The same. 7:15 P.M. 

Act in. The same. 8:00 P. M. 

ROYALTY ONLY TEN DOLLARS 

Each Amateur Performance 

Books Thirty-Five Cents Each 



WALTER H. BAKER COMPANY 

41 Winter Street, Boston, Mass. 



Turning The Trick 



Bg J. C. McMullen 

A Comedy-Drama in Three Acts. 6m., 5w. A rapidly moving 
sure-fire play that is meeting with astounding success with amateurs. 
A great title, a peach of a show, one set stands for thee acts. Plays 
a full evening. Patrick Casey, retired contractor, becoming dis- 
gusted with the ultra-modem life of his better-half Mary Anne and 
his son and daughter, asserts his independence assisted by Detective 
Jim, son of an old friend, and George Drake, Kathleen's steady. 
How he frustrates the diamond smugglers in whose coils his son is 
entangled, is cleverly worked out and he also proves the "O'Malleys 
are good enough for the Caseys." There are opportunities for 
clever dramatic bits in the parts of Anna Bairski, the fake bolshevik 
and "Humpy." Delightful comedy parts in Armand, the he dress- 
maker and Mary Anne, and as for Patrick, we know of no better 
Irish part written into any play. A true son of the old sod yet 
typically American and genuine. Not a farcical note in his make-up. 

MEET THE CAST 

Patrick Casey, a retired contractor. 

Mary Anne, his wife. 

Michael, his son. 

Kathleen and Maggie, his daughters. 

George Drake, a friend of the family. 

Eileen, the maid. 

"Humpy" Steele, the janitor. 

Jim Dougherty, of the U. S. Treasury Department. 

Madam Anna Bairski, a red. 

Armand Francois Boni Aime De Lovier, a modiste. 

Place: New York City. 

Scene: Living-room of the Casey residence. 

Time: The present. 

ROYALTY ONLY TEN DOLLARS 

Each Amateur Performance 

Books Thirty-Five Cents Each 



WALTER H. BAKER COMPANY 

41 Winter Street, Boston, Mass. 



Be An Optimist 

By Adam Applebud 

The Quintessence of Nonsense in Three Acts. 6m ; 7w., all 
equally important, with the opportunity, if desired, to use several 
"supers" with no lines. 2 simple interiors. Adam Applebud 
certainly blossomed forth with as memy original situations and bits 
of business as a centipede has pedal extremities when he wrote 
"Be An Optimist." Funnier things happen than you ever dreamed 
of after a midnight encounter with a welsh-rarebit. For instance, 
can you imagine manufacturing a mummy with a love-sick swain, 
surgical bandages and a pail of coffee as the chief ingredients? Also, 
why are shot-guns and baseball bats vital to the antique business 
to say nothing of sledge-hammers and tooth-brushes? And why 
should Madame Goopher, the trance medium, faint when she 
suddenly discovers she isn't a liar after all? Would you stand 
within three feet of your best pal and listen to him make love to 
your girl and hear her ask him for a kiss? Our hero does, and he is 
helpless under the prevailing circumstances. The property man 
won't be worried as the "propjs" most important to the play are 
found in every home. Tbe characters are more assorted than the 
component parts of boarding-house hash, and they will keep the 
laugh center in your medulla working livelier than a cash register 
in a bargain basement. Warning! If you yearn for "Culchaw" or 
have a burning desire to aid in the uplift of the "drahma," do« t 
open a copy of "Be An Optimist"; but if you want the rafters of 
the old town hall to ring with laughter, hop to it! 

THE PEOPLE OF THE PLAY AS YOU MEET THEM 

Isaac Golditch, antiquer, of the Golditch Art Shop 
Becky, his daughter. 

Pietro D'Angelo Caccialino, expert worm-holer. 
Jimmie Maynard, "the poor stiff." 
Mildred Clinton, who is in love and likes it. 
Mrs. Clinton, "why mother-in-law jokes are true." 
Mike, just what his name suggests. 
Ray Hudson, a friend in need, but scarcely in deed. 
Miss Hull, interior decorator. 

Maggie, not green — for "greenness" wears off, so call her stupid. 
Ethel Peabody, who defies love to affect her. 
Spencer, a paid guest. 
Madame Goopher, dispenser of spirits. 
Guests at the Ball. 

They Are Seen 
During Act I— In the Golditch Art Shop. Morning. 

During Act II — In Mrs. Clinton's Home. Afternoon. 

During Act III — Still at Mrs. Clinton's. The next evening. 

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Books Thirty-Five Cents Each ^^ 



THE BEST LIKED PLAY IN THE UNITED 
STATES AND ( library of congress 






The Arrival ■■« i 

016 103 584 1 
By Norman Lee Swartout 

A Farce in Three Acts For Five Men and Four Wome 
One Easy Interior Set 

The perennial success which has been played on the professional stage more 
tlian five thousand times and over fifteen hundred times by amateurs, with an 
increasing number of productions each year. One of those rare and really 
fimny plays which acts itself, is always a success and has to be repeated. 
Easily produced. Each part a star part. Bobbie Baxter pursuing his little 
love affair with Jane against the opposition of his uncle, William Wmkler, has 
occasion to disguise himself as a woman and is mistaken for Kitty, an actress 
and close friend of Winkler's, to the vast confusion of everything and every- 
body, which is intensified by the arrival of the real Kitty. 

The following arie a few testimonials selected from hundreds of letters and 
1 )ress notices : 

" 'The Arrival of Kitty' is a success." — New York Dramatic Mirror. 
" 'The Arrival of Kitty' is as fimny as 'Charley's Aunt,' funnier in man>- 

places." — ■ Toledo Blade. 
"It is a pleasure to tell you of the tremendous success of the performance of 
'The Arrival of Kitty' which we gave last night as the Senior Class Play 
We had a good house and the applause and laughter were most hilari- 
ous." — G. F. Morgan, Supt. of Schools at Athens, Ohio. 
"I only regret that there are not more plays of this calibre on the market." 

Rev. Win. Ullrich, Rome, N. Y. 
"I recommend 'The Arrival of Kitty' to all organizations desiring a clever, 

clean and fast-moving comedy." • — G. T. Spetiigue, Oil City, Pa. 
"The play was a wonderful success. The press and public are still talking 

about it." — B. Jermyn Masters, Sec. Dunsmuir (Col.) Dramatic Club. 
"We were well pleased with the play and can recommend it to any High 
School desiring an interesting, entertaining play within the possibilities of 
students." — St. Louis, Mo. 
"Nothing better than 'The Arrival of Kitty' has ever been given in Union- 
town, Pa." 
"A splendid success from ever>- standpoint." — Paynesville, Minn. 
"You are certainly to be congratulated for writing a play so simple, so easy to 
present and at the same time so delightfully clever." — Rockland, Maiim. 

ROYALTY ONLY TEN DOLLARS 

Eacli Amateur Performance 

Books Seventy-Five Cents Each 

WALTER H. BAKER COMPANY 

41 Winter Street, Boston, Mass. 

..NO .,£,r ,^,u CO.. eoiiro, 18272 



